Thursday, December 18, 2003

 
ATMatic

The ATM machine loves me. The ATM machine loves me not. The ATM machine loves me. The ATM machine loves me not. The ATM machine... well, it sucks!
This was the refrain an 18-year-old student was humming while waiting outside a private bank last week. Now while it may sound funny the first time you hear it, the sentiment behind it isn't one bit funny. In fact, if you have ever rushed to a bank hoping to withdraw your money from your bank account very conveniently - as the new fangled banks keep harping - chances are you will redefine what convenience means.
Naturally, that student sitting outside the bank came up with a new theory: The chances of the ATM machine being closed/out of order/kaput is inversely proportional to your need of money. The more you need the money, the less chances of you getting it… hehehehehe!
And what exactly is a technical difficulty? What are all the techies in a bank doing if they cant keep an ATM machine in running condition? And if they cant give us service all days at all times at all ATM centres why do they tempt us with promises they cant keep?
Ah! The days of good old banking. When the bank teller sneered at you and you snarled back. The days when you planned a picnic around your banking days because it took you that long to withdraw money anyway. The days when the bank staff sipped tea while you grew thinner because they made you skip lunch with their loooooong breaks.
Heck, I miss those sneers! At least I knew I would get my money at the end of the ordeal. Now I don't go to the bank because the bank staff is too sweet. And it is difficult to shout at sweet smiling people who keep telling you: Sir, you can go to any of our 1,796 ATMs...
And you cant shout at a machine which keeps telling you on the computer screen: Sorry for the inconvenience.
To be fair, the bank staff must be equally frustrated when the machines go off. I have seen them waiting in a queue with the rest of us hoping to withdraw money. And convenience banking has improved the quality of life in a manner of speaking. I am now, like many people, used to the idea that I can withdraw money any time, any place. Once you are addicted to new-age banking it becomes difficult to bank anywhere else. Even if it means wasting petrol driving across to some other part of town where there is an ATM working. Last week I spent 20 minutes outside an ATM which was temporarily out of order. Then I drove 15 minutes to another machine before I could finally withdraw money. And there were many keeping me company.
I have now added a new name to the list of Gods I suppose I have to worship: Lord ATM. The well-wisher of new age banking, the master of technology, the harbinger of good health to all banking machines, the keeper of my sanity, the nurturer of my social activities...
posted by Sanjay Maya 11:53 PM